Four Steps to Starting Over

1. Forgive your self: In life things happen that may be out of your control and some things may occur due to our own doing. The beauty of life is that no matter what happens, you have the power and ability to decide how you respond to it. You can decide to let the situation bottle you up and suck the life out of you or you may decide to take steps to be an overcomer. With any situation, I like to start by reflecting on what happened. I analyze the role I played in the situation: what role did the other person play in this situation? What could I have done differently? What did I learn from this? How do I move on from this? And how would I tackle the same situation in the future. Reflecting allows me to be real with myself and my emotions. It is a hard thing to do, but it is so worth it. As you reflect you begin to get answers and clarity. Once you have clarity it allows you to be in a space where you can forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes made, forgive the other person, forgive the situation itself. Forgiving is a liberating step to starting afresh.

2. Utilize God‘s promises: Leaning on your own strength to start afresh can be a difficult task, but there is nothing too difficult for God. Sometimes we blame God for the things that happened in our lives, but I am reminded of the book of Job in which Job lost his children, wealth, and health and he too blame God for the things that happened to him. I want to tell you that having these thoughts are okay because we are human with emotions, but God is not the cause of the situation. I have come to learn that the enemy of the world Satan wants us to believe that God is the one who causes all these bad things to happen, to cause us to turn our backs on God. God reminds us of his promises through his words, my favorites are Phillipians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”, Ecclesiastes 3:11, “he has made everything beautiful in its time”, and Hebrews 13:5b, “never will I leave you, nor will I forsake you.” Gods promises are yes and amen! This means even when things do not look like the way they should, do not lose hope, faith and trust because there’s an Almighty God who is working on your behalf to make your paths straight, to bring you out of your darkness and into the light, to restore what was lost or stolen from you, to make you whole. Starting afresh has been made much easier for me by surrendering it all to God and trusting that he will never fail me. Utilize God’s promises as you start over.

3. Positive words of affirmations: When starting over, it is not unusual to have negative thoughts running through your mind. This is an area I have had to learn to overcome. One day you feel like you’ve made progress, but the next you start thinking over the situation, negative thoughts run through your mind and you begin blaming yourself or somebody else. This is part of the healing process and it is okay. We go through stages of healing and starting over, the most important thing is to know when you are beginning to refer back to these negative thoughts and how to overcome it. I utilize positive words of affirmation to replace negative thoughts that come to mind. There have been times when I have felt I was not good enough, when these thoughts come to mind, I soon realize how these thoughts make me feel and I make a decision in my mind and heart that these thoughts are not true. I replace these thoughts with uplifting positive thoughts such as, “I am more than enough and I can do it.” Initially replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts may appear not to make a difference but with consistency you learn to have control over your thoughts and how you think and feel about yourself. As you start over don’t let negative thoughts keep you down, replace those negative thoughts with positive words of affirmations.

4. Don’t stop dreaming: Sometimes it may appear the easiest thing to do is to give up and take life as it is, but choosing this route will be detrimental to your self growth and well-being. Starting over requires you to keep moving forward. You acknowledge the wrongs and pain that occurred and you choose to go through the process of overcoming. You reflect, forgive,  and stand on God‘s promises. Use positive words of affirmation’s as you begin to cultivate new desires, goals, vision,  and dreams. I have found journaling, reading books, praying, listening to motivating words, or going for a run to be effective ways to help me reflect and continue envision new dreams. For you this may be taking part in activities that bring you joy. It is never too late to start a fresh and heal. As long as you don’t stop dreaming you have the power and ability to heal and start afresh. 

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