Waiting for closure from an Ex will leave you stuck and in the same unhappy place. Rather, create your own closure. By creating your own closure you free yourself from anger, frustration, and unmet expectations from your Ex. When we seek closure from an Ex it leads to more questions and you are left feeling confused. In some cases, your Ex may not be capable to give you the closure you desire because they are toxic and in an unhealthy place to have an adult conversation. Even if you get the answers to your questions from your Ex, it is typically not enough to give you the closure you desire, because at the end of the day we all want to be accepted and desired and when that does not happen we feel like something is missing.
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The first step is accepting that things did not work out – I want you to first acknowledge that what you are feeling is real. When you invest your heart, time, soul, strength, career, and life purpose into a relationship and it does not work out, it is normal to have these feelings of wasted time. I want you to acknowledge that what you are feeling is real. Acknowledging and accepting that what you are feeling is real may express itself as crying, anger, guilt, feeling lonely, sad, or fear of the future. When these emotions arise feel every ounce of them. Don’t try to ignore these feelings. When you ignore it rather than facing it you allow it to have power over you.
It is easy to sit in this state of feeling sorry for yourself for a prolonged period even up to years because you feel something was taken away from you when the relationship ended. The truth is once you acknowledge and accept something, one of the hardest things to do is to decide to move forward after accepting the truth. I want to challenge you, now that you have accepted that your time may have been wasted in the relationship and you are not getting closure from your partner what are you going to do about it?
You have to make a mental decision to let go. With every strength, you have within you, realize that you deserve better and you are worthy of a loving relationship. It just happened to not be with your Ex. Make a mental decision that it is not a loss to you and better is to come. I know that is easier said than done, but creating closure requires applying your mind, body, and spirit into making this decision.
Next is forgiving yourself and your Ex – As you reflect on your past relationship, there will be instances that may arise which will bring back feelings of sadness, guilt, anger, or shame; this is not unusual. I want you to forgive yourself for the decisions you made based on what you knew at that time. A failed relationship does not define you, and it will not stop you from living your life. Forgive yourself for the role you may have played during the relationship when it ended. It’s often easier to find blame in the other person, but if you search deep you may find out there were things you tolerated or did which you should not have. Forgive yourself and let go of the past pain. It serves you no good dragging along the past pain throughout your life.
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I know these steps are easier said than done so I’m inviting you to schedule a free breakthrough call with me. In this call, I will show you exactly how you can apply these steps to give you the closure you desire.
